How to Use FEAR as your SECRET WEAPON and get RICH

        **Core Topic:** Fear as both the biggest obstacle AND the most powerful fuel for success in business—and why the pain of staying small is a stronger motivator than the dream of getting big.

**Main Speaking Points:**

1. **The Myth of the Rosy Success Story** — Most successful people pretend their journey was a fairy tale from start to finish. They don't tell you about their insecurities or the dark secrets of motivation that pushed them through. So when you struggle, you think something's wrong with you—but you're just playing checkers while trying to use chess rules.

2. **The Terrifying Reality of Starting a Business** — At first, you will work incredibly hard for very little. If you work your first 100 hours and get paid a single cent, I'd be shocked. You're not worth it yet—you're learning. But that's scary because society taught you that work = pay.

3. **Predictability vs. Independence** — Driving for Uber is predictable, easy money. You feel like you're in business for yourself, but you're not. The more predictable the revenue, the less revenue you get. People trade independence for predictability.

4. **The Desperation Funnel** — Most people get more and more desperate, resetting goals downward until they hit something so ridiculously small that they finally succeed. Try to make a million, doesn't work. Try $100K, doesn't work. Try $10K, $1K, nothing. Then: "Can I make $10?" And it works.

5. **My First Win: A $4 Ebook** — Not a $5,000 high-ticket product. Not a $1,000 course. A $4 ebook. It was embarrassing because all these marketers tell you to "value yourself" and "fake it till you make it." But when you're starting off, any sale is a success. Once I sold one, I knew I could sell a thousand.

6. **Getting Over Your Own Fears First** — The difference between good salespeople and bad salespeople: good ones bring up people's fears and address them on the spot. But you can't help others overcome fears you haven't faced yourself.

7. **The Fear Exercise:**
   - Write down every fear you have, big and small
   - Acknowledge each as a limitation stopping you
   - Make a plan to deal with each one
   - Start small and increase (afraid to charge a lot? Start with a small amount. Afraid to charge at all? Start free.)

8. **The Psychology of Loss vs. Gain** — Studies show that the motivation to avoid loss is 5-10x stronger than the motivation to gain. If you lose $500 from your wallet, you don't need to find $500 to feel normal again—you need to find $2,500-$5,000.

9. **Using Fear as Fuel** — The fear of staying small, the fear of where this path leads in 10 years—that's 10x, 50x, 100x more powerful than the dream of flying private. It won't make a great Instagram quote or biography line, but that's how the sausage gets made.

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If you don't listen to what I'm about to say, you're going to fail at life. People are going to laugh at you in the streets. When you turn a corner, a very ugly man is going to slap you across the face, spank you in public, put a sign around your neck that says "LOSER," and tell you to get lost.

I'm kidding, of course.

But what I'm talking about here is **fear**. And fear is the problem that holds so many people back from their potential—in business and in life.

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### The Success Story Nobody Tells

I started out of fear. That's what a lot of successful people start from. And then later, when they're successful, they pretend that never happened.

Most success stories you hear about on YouTube? People pretend everything was rosy, and then it got better, and then it got better—a fairy tale from start to finish. They don't tell you about their insecurities. They don't tell you about the dark secrets of motivation that kept them pushing through the hard times.

So you don't have the same playbook they had. And when you don't succeed like they succeeded, you get very frustrated.

But if you're playing checkers using the rules of chess, you're going to lose 100% of the time.

Let's break it down.

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### The Terrifying Math of Starting a Business

The hardest part about building a business online is this: **at first, you will work incredibly hard for very little.**

If you go drive for Uber, you're guaranteed to make money. Not enough, but it's predictable, easy money. You can kind of set your own hours, so you feel like you're in business for yourself. But you're not—because it's predictable. You don't have to get a customer. You don't have to handle the money directly. It just comes in and out.

The more predictable the revenue, the less revenue you get. People will trade independence for predictability.

What's scary about starting a business is that it's very unpredictable at first. You will likely work hundreds of hours and not make a single dollar.

Society taught you—and you taught yourself—that you work and you make money as a result of working. If you show up and put an hour in, somebody's going to pay you for that hour.

That's great if you're an employee.

That is a **joke** if you're starting a business.

**If you work your first 100 hours in business and get paid a single cent, I will be shocked.** That is not typically how it goes.

Your first 100 hours, the reason you don't get paid is because you're not worth it. You're not even worth a penny yet. You're learning along the way—and that's more valuable than any money you could make.

But it's very scary.

Who wants to be the idiot that works and doesn't get paid?

Worse yet—who wants to be the idiot that *pays* to work?

I've been there. And any successful person I know who started from scratch, first-generation wealthy, literally paid to work. You feel like a fool. And it's tough because you're going to feel alienated.

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### The Desperation Funnel

Here's what happens to most people:

You work hard. Put a lot of time in. Get nothing out. Very scary.

Then when you do succeed, you work really hard for only a small win. So you think you're stupid—because you're trying to hit big wins and you're striking out.

You get more and more desperate. You keep resetting the goals. Resetting. Resetting. Until you get down to something so ridiculously small that you finally succeed—because you've run out of all the other ways to fail.

You try to make a million dollars. Doesn't work.

You try to make $100,000. Doesn't work.

You try to make $10,000. Doesn't work.

You try to make $1,000. Doesn't work.

Then you say: "Can I make $10?"

And it works.

Here's the beauty of getting to that point: then the question becomes—

Can I do it twice?

Can I do it three times?

Can I do it in the same amount of time I did it once?

Can I do it ten times?

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### My First Win: A $4 Ebook

My first success in business came when I got very desperate.

I sold a $4 ebook.

Not a $5,000 high-ticket product. Not a $1,000 course. Not even a $100 training program.

A $4 ebook.

It was so ridiculously small that people were like, "Okay, it probably won't work, but I'll give you money anyway."

It was embarrassing. All these marketers teach you, "Oh, value yourself for what you're worth!" and "Fake it till you make it!" They try to make you feel stupid for selling really cheap stuff.

But when you're starting off, **any sale is a success.** And then you trade it up.

I was able to sell something that I could sell a thousand of just as easily as I could sell one of. So when I crossed that threshold of selling one, I knew I could sell a thousand.

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### You Have to Get Over Your Own Fears First

Once you get over your own fears, it's easy to help other people get over theirs.

I teach a lot of salespeople how to sell better. The difference between good salespeople and bad salespeople? **Good salespeople bring up people's fears right in front of them and address them on the spot.**

But if you haven't gotten over your own fears yet, you will never be able to help other people get over theirs.

So we start with our own fears.

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### The Fear Exercise

Here's the best exercise you can do if you're starting in business and trying to make money:

1. **Write down every fear you have**—big and small—on a piece of paper.
2. **Acknowledge each fear** as a limitation that's stopping you from moving forward.
3. **Make a plan** for how you're going to deal with each one.

If you're afraid of asking somebody for a lot of money, start with asking for a small amount—and keep increasing along the way.

If you're afraid to charge for your work at all, start free. Have the person pay you based on the result. You're going to get taken advantage of 9 out of 10 times—I know that.

But what you'll do is diminish these fears along the way.

And then, through experience, through competency, through the frustration of undercharging, getting taken advantage of, staying small when you know you could be big—**that frustration will propel you to success more than motivation ever will.**

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### The Psychology of Loss vs. Gain

Let me end with this so you really understand.

There's a psychological study that tried to quantify gain versus loss. It goes like this:

You wake up in the morning. You lose $500 from your wallet. How much money would you have to *find* on the ground to get back to your baseline level of happiness?

Say you woke up feeling a 7 out of 10. You lose $500. Now you're at a 2 out of 10.

How much do you need to find to get back to a 7?

It's not one-to-one. It's not "find $500 and I'm back to normal."

It's not even two-to-one. "Find $1,000 and I'm back."

**It's between 5-to-1 and 10-to-1.**

The gain needed to replace the loss experienced is 5 to 10 times greater.

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### Fear as Fuel

The gain of being a millionaire, flying private, being on a Sardinian island like I'm on right now—all of that's cool and motivating.

But pain motivation is **10, 50, 100 times stronger.**

Right now, fear is motivating you in the wrong way. The fear of losing is so scary that you don't even try.

But if we can take that fear and use it to *propel* us—

The fear of staying small.

The fear of not addressing this issue and where it will take you in 10 years.

Write it out plain. Use that to your advantage.

That's one of the most powerful ways to succeed in this business.

It won't sound good as a quote on Instagram. It won't make a great speech. If you write it in a biography, people will be like, "Ew, that's gross."

But that's how the sausage gets made. That's how the money gets made.

You take the fear and you use it to **push** you in the direction of success—instead of relying on the dream of some future advantage to *pull* you there.

We take the wins along the way. We enjoy the happiness.

But we get **pushed** by the fear of not succeeding.

That's the greatest motivation of all.

It's not the greatest pep talk. But that's how real people make real money.